Let’s see about joy and sadness.

Today was a weird day.
First I find a flat that I can both afford AND like. :)
Then I find out that the new MechWarrior game IS being made. :D
And then I find out that CCP mis-managed their shit and have to fire White Wolf people. :(

So let’s share a nice, moody, ambivalent song.

Joy Division – Atmosphere [Atmosphere] | 1980 | Post-Punk

[expand title=”Lyrics”]Walk in silence,
Don’t walk away, in silence.
See the danger,
Always danger,
Endless talking,
Life rebuilding,
Don’t walk away.

Walk in silence,
Don’t turn away, in silence.
Your confusion,
My illusion,
Worn like a mask of self-hate,
Confronts and then dies.
Don’t walk away.

People like you find it easy,
Naked to see,
Walking on air.
Hunting by the rivers,
Through the streets,
Every corner abandoned too soon,
Set down with due care.
Don’t walk away in silence,
Don’t walk away. [/expand]

This song is NOT particularly happy, no.
But it’s soul, texture and ambiance are very relaxed, very deep, quite dark and chilly as anything you’re likely to get your hands on.

It’s one of those songs where you either listen to the lyrics or just feel the atmosphere (Yeees.).

And for me…
Flash-back to Summer 2003.
I had a roleplaying group in Haan, Germany back then. I was friends with all of them. Became close friends with three of them. Developed a crush on one of them. Had a great time with all of them.
We most often met Saturdays and Fridays. Our sessions would run up to six or seven hours. We diner together. We sometimes combined gaming (with all of them) with extra-curricular activities (with the three special ones), getting super-long weekends with gaming, music, food, drinks, laughter and general fun and excitement. We went to the Düsseldorf Summer Fair together. We played Tabu. We painted 40k miniatures. We mixed cocktails for the hell of it. We drove around and just looked at stuff. We laid in the sun, with drink and snack, shaded our eyes and talked for hours, with scaly lizards sun-baking on our stomachs. Quite frankly: It was rather glorious. :)

And for me, it was slightly more than a 60 minute car-drive away.

So often I’d find myself coming home at four or five in the morning. Which meant that I was driving at three or four in the morning. Which, during the summer months, meant that I was driving when the sun was rising. Had the Autobahn all to myself. Drove through the misty streets at 160km/h. Windows open. Strong, clean morning air streaming in. And more often than not, I had the “Substance” Joy Division compilation in the stereo. Most of the songs on that CD are killers. It’s a CD which nearly contains nothing but “most favourite” songs of mine.

But…

Imagine that drive.
Imagine four in the morning, the sun slowly rising to your right.
The fields are misty and swooshing by.
The air is cool. Not cold, cool. Slowly warming, even at 160km/h.
You’re alone with your thoughts.
You had one or two days with great friends and great fun.
And Atmosphere comes on.
You just… Enter the Zone.
You’re there.
Everything simply CLICKS.

That’s Atmosphere for me.
A song that clicks.

I wish you great clicking moments, all of you. :)