Let’s correlate.

I love Neil Gaiman’s works.
I especially love the Sandman series. It was one of the first non-music related pieces of media that made me go in the direction of Goth.
It also still is something that I connect (and connected back then, too) with various pieces of music.

One of them shares the honour of also being a piece of music I connect deeply with myself, especially with my first ever relationship.
So, today you get a piece of 90s music, something that’s connected to 90s storytelling and with my personal life.

[expand title=”Lyrics”]Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

I’ve been looking for a saviour in these dirty streets
Looking for a saviour beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Just what god needs, one more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves every day?
I crucify myself and nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself every day
I crucify myself and my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in chains
Chains

Got a kick for a dog begging for love
I got to have my suffering so that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter, he says, will you ever learn
You’re just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird

I’ve been looking for a saviour in these dirty streets
Looking for a saviour beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start my own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves every day?
I crucify myself and nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself every day
I crucify myself and my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in chains
Chains

Please be
Save me
I cry

Looking for a saviour in these dirty streets
Looking for a saviour beneath these dirty sheets
I’ve been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Where are those angels when you need them

Why do we crucify ourselves every day
I crucify myself and nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself every day
I crucify myself and my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in chains
Chains

Why do we in chains
Why do we crucify ourselves
Crucify ourselves every day
Why do we crucify ourselves
Why do we crucify ourselves
Chains
Why do we crucify ourselves
Chains
Why do we crucify ourselves
I’m never going back again to crucify myself again you know
Why do we crucify ourselves
I’m never going back again to crucify myself again every day[/expand]


This is essential listening to get a feeling for 90s alternative singer-songwriters. For the mood that permeated the Gothic scene when it wasn’t full-out blackened and ready to tear shit apart. It’s emotional, it’s strong, it’s lyrical.

It’s also a thank you.
Thank you Daniela.
Thank you Nina.
Thank you for getting me out and getting me to start accepting myself as worthy. Even though the process is still on-going.